I can have periods of anxiety that seemingly come out of no where and for no reason.

I’m sure much of it is due to the unrealistic expectations I can place on myself. Such as feeling as if I should be able to remove all conflicts, maintain constant levels of peace among others, and maintain high levels of success at work, and in all my relationships.

Obviously, none of these are realistic expectations, and I am realizing how much of this I carry from never truly feeling safe.

For some of us, we never had the opportunity to develop a sense of safety. Perhaps we didn’t feel we had the freedom to make mistakes growing up. Maybe our homes were filled with conflict and uncertainty, fear, scarcity, and hardship.

I recall feeling like it was my role to help reduce any and all conflict and chaos that arose in the home. To be the good boy, who kept the peace, kept quiet, didn’t create issues, and did what they were supposed to do to maintain order.

Though I realize this pressure on myself had some roots in seeking a sense of safety through trying to control outcomes in my world that often felt out of control. It was creating within me a constant anxiety for perfection.

Though this drive and ambition may have embedded in it some benefit in accomplishing life goals, it also sets one up for continual frustration and defeat. For we can plan, and make preparations, but the outcomes we desire are never truly guaranteed.

This is why I love the precious reminders in Psalm 121 – that God is our guardian. He is our help and our strength. He is with us always.

Thankfully, He is in control, and as we learn we can trust Him, our need for controlling outcomes reduces, as does our lack of feeling safe.

As we know, in Christ, our eternity may be safe, but our life here on earth never is. It‘a full of risk, hardship, and struggle, but this also helps us grow in our faith and trust in God. It helps us go without fully knowing the outcome. Helps us risk unconditional love, healthy relationships, embark on adventures, and face failures.

For failure isn’t always bad and winning isn’t always best. As such, God encourages us to cast all our anxiety, cares and worries on Him, and this is for good, healthy, loving reasons. So may we trust Him despite not feeling safe and sound all the time – but knowing we are for all time.