Mornings with Jesus

I love how Jesus made and shared breakfast on the beach with His friends. I’m sure it was one of many for them.

Personally, I look forward to my mornings with Jesus too. I always leave them with a renewed and refreshed sense of purpose, peace, and hope.

This is helpful because I’m sure like the disciples many years ago, fear, worry, and even paranoia can seem to cover me at times too. They become like ash upon my soul. And even when not visible, their mark always seems to abide deep within me. By now, I’ve learned to keep these feelings at bay, and mostly live beyond them, but I do look forward to the day they are gone.

I realize there is healing involved, understanding when they started so many years ago, what triggers them, especially during stress, and of course, beginning to truly embrace God’s truth about fear.

He says repeatedly, Fear not – I am with you. So, for whatever reason, I either refuse to believe this, or refuse to let it go. Perhaps it’s because fear has served me well over the years, especially during my youth. It helped my mind prepare and configure strategies to avoid danger and cope with painful situations. Fear aided me in preparing for things to go wrong, and being wronged.

Granted a false sense of security back then, and definitely a trait that no longer serves my well-being in any way today. Now, it’s more like an old habit that exists at a subconscious level.

Receiving and believing God’s word not to fear, is helpful, but those who struggle with anxiety must also learn to identify and deal with the root cause of it.

For me, I’m sure facing off with bullies at a young age is partly behind it, as well as worrying about the welfare of my family as the oldest child in a broken home. A sense of security and safety was never really established in my life, and so that feeling embedded itself and bleeds into today.

A sense of insecurity, uncertainty, instability, and not being safe lingers. Though it has wained in its power over me, it’s still there and raises its head from time to time.

We are not alone no matter the difficulty, and though hard times come, we are not uncared for, and we don’t have to figure it out without help.

Others know well this sense of anxiety and fear I speak of – but it’s more important that we remember we don’t have to live with them forever.

Jesus promises this, and our healing involves us facing off with them, rather than avoiding, suppressing, ignoring, or distracting ourselves from them. We must learn to stop and deal with our irrational anxiety as adults, not children, and ultimately leaving them as we would any toxic relationship.

That morning when Jesus met with His friends, He helped restore them with His words, His presence, and His knowledge about them, not only as His friends, but as their Father. Thankfully, He does this for me and you too.

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