The power and freedom of choice is a great gift and privilege that’s imbedded with danger, risk, and reward.
However, when we know and understand our deepest desires, why we have them, and where they come from, we can better make the choices that come before us.
For example, no matter where we live, work, or play, isn’t as important as what’s the best choice for our family, hearts, and soul.
I have often mentioned how I practically lost my heart and soul in the pursuit of work, or rather the validation I desperately sought. In the process I also practically abandoned my family by the distractions my selfish ambitions created.
It was a time of loss, and darkness, that I was kept running blindly deeper into. My choices were off the mark because I didn’t understand the desire I had for validation wasn’t to be found in work and promotion, but rather in the restoration and healing of my heart which only Jesus could accomplish. However, I wasn’t choosing Him either – so, the deeper I sank.
Looking back at the moment I surrendered my heart, and my life to Jesus Christ was the greatest decision I ever made, but it came at a point of complete brokenness and desperation for rescue. I was faced with losing so much and felt my heart and soul were literally dying. It took that much to finally break me to the point of complete surrender.
Thus began my journey into my heart’s healing. My soul’s rescue and my life’s restoration. Over the years the progress has felt painfully slow at times, but oh how the blessings have been so great. My marriage is no longer on the brink, my compassion is expanding, and I am seeing just how much need there is for relentless love. A love that’s not performance based, but always abiding, hopeful, encouraging, and true.
Same for my marriage – “I choose us”, as one line in a movie so wonderfully speaks to. For the tragedy so many marriages fall victim to is the choice of self – not the other, not the sacrifice, and not the care for the heart that fuels any union.
In short, whenever I choose self, I lose. But when I choose Christ, He brings all things together so that I can choose wisely and well. I can choose the welfare of my family over any promotion, invitation, temptation, and call – for I know my desire for validation is already established by God, not my performance.
As such, I am free to love, to dream, to celebrate, and to hope as He has created me to. To feel like never before, as my heart is softened, and seeing not with eyes of judgment and envy and competition, but with compassion, care, grace and mercy.
These things seem so slow moving at times inside my heart, but I know they are moving forward. I see the miracles as I reflect back on the goodness of God. I see His protection, His rescue, His restoration, and my hope in His direction expands in great anticipation of all that awaits those in Christ.