Untethering is the word I would use to describe what is happening in my heart towards my prior unhealthy agreement with love.
Love has been known to me as the highest form of “obligation” any person can have. This obligation could also be defined as a sense of binding, or bound up.
In other words, I desire love but have received it and given it out of the distortion of obligation – for example, if you show me, or give me love, I am obligated to you in some shape or form to repay this love. Likewise, if I show and give love to you, it comes with some form of expectation I have of you.
Clearly, this is a distorted view of love, but how often do we place expectations on love?
Thankfully, my love is being renewed and my heart is being untethered from this prior commitment.
This unbinding is much like a boat bound to the docks by a rope and cleat. The rope is loosened and the boat is now set free to sail and explore new waters, and to experience new adventures – and yes, face new risks.
My heart is learning to be free, and in this freedom, to love freely. To give without expectation and to receive without obligation.
Looking back, I first experienced this type of love from God. For He loved me at my worst and pursued me when I wanted little to do with Him. But He also loved me enough to let me go, like the prodigal son – always waiting with open arms for my hopeful return.
He loved enough that He sent His son, Jesus to die for me. He loves me when I’m far from Him, and when I run to Him. He gives generously and freely, and in Him, life is abundant.
And in return, I want to live and do for Him. Not because He loves with strings attached, but because His love embraces my heart in such a way that creates trust – a trust that frees my heart from prior chains.
How awesome to love this way! I desire it more than ever.
For I have always been plagued with subtle cynicisms, mistrusts, insecurities, and suspicions that my love may fail to meet, or let down others’ expectations placed upon me, and that others’ love may fail to meet mine.
Today, I am not fully untethered, but I feel the ropes being loosened, and I am abounding in hope and with deep expectation to live out the rest of my times abounding in this renewed and freed love for my God, myself and others. A love truly untethered!