I remember reading a quote by a pastor who said, marriage isn’t so much designed to make us happy, but to help make us holy. Likewise, God is more concerned with our holiness than our happiness. For happiness comes and goes and is based on what is happening around us and to us. However, holiness is based on what is happening inside us. Holiness involves our heart condition and allows us to experience joy through the Spirit despite our happenstances. 

Of course, this sanctification process is rarely without its struggles and neither will our marriages be free from struggle – but thankfully, they are also embedded with great blessings:    

Purpose: For the longest time, I didn’t realize my marriage had a purpose, other than to contribute to my happiness. This outlook however is a trap that eventually leads to discouragement and disatisfaction. The reality is a holy marriage is designed with divine purpose. Two people surrendered to God are a powerful team and witness. They are a representation of the Trinity, are called to raise Godly children, and help each other learn to love more like Christ loves (Malachi 2:15). 

Pleasure: Although not solely for our happiness, marriage does come with great pleasures and rewards. We are even instructed to enjoy one another as a gift from God (Ecclesiastes 9:9). Over time, our Kingdom value and impact increases as we grow closer as friends, as allies, as lovers and as soldiers in Christ. I recall traveling on business trips to exotic locations and staying at lavish resorts, wishing my family could be there to share it with me. Today, as we walk with God, we share in something much better than resorts – we get His glorious riches and get to experience life’s adventures together, instead of alone.

Prosperity: Blessings from God flow to Godly marriages, and finding a good wife is said to be like finding treasure and receiving favor from the Lord (Proverbs 18:22)! For true prosperity flows from living for the Lord.  I once lived to be monetarily rich, but today, I am thankful and blessed to know where true riches are found – in the love of Christ and the love I get to share with my wife, a glorious gift indeed!

Application: “Kingdom Wisdom”  – Ecclesiastes 4:12

Marriage isn’t always easy, and it isn’t designed to be. When two imperfect people come together, there is bound to be an imperfect marriage. However, when both parties are surrendered to Christ, He can blend and bind our differences and potential divisions to work for His good purposes, glory and our purification. Marriage over time doesn’t have to grow old and stale. Instead, it can grow stronger and better. Something enjoyable and something that abounds in love.